DRAFT 3 - Currently the script is just the dialogue, the actions will be written in once the dialogue is confirmed.
Int. Hell entrance - Mid Afternoon
The Inspector emerges from a door, and stops in front of a large pair of red legs, which belong to Lucifer.
INSPECTOR
Mr. Lucifer, I've completed the safety inspection, and I have a few concerns.
LUCIFER
Such as?
INSPECTOR
Firstly, I'm concerned about the lack of fire extinguishers.
LUCIFER
Okay, are you kidding?
INSPECTOR
You're tail really should be blunted.
LUCIFER
Is this a stitch up? Did Bob in Accounts put you up to this?
INSPECTOR
The roller coaster exceeds the 70 mile per hour speed limit. The TV's only seem to be playing spin offs and Dr. Phil re-runs.
DR PHIL.
(ON TV)
I'M DR. PHIL!
LUCIFER
Oh come on! Can't you overlook that?
INSPECTOR
(Pause) There's cracks all over the ground, the piano hall has bats. The chains in Mr. Wilhelm's room are digging into him.
(Pause) There's cracks all over the ground, the piano hall has bats. The chains in Mr. Wilhelm's room are digging into him.
Off camera, Mr. Wilhelm screams.
INSPECTOR
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shut you down.
LUCIFER
GOD DAMMIT!
LUCIFER stamps his foot. The ground shakes. THE INSPECTOR looks down. A crack appears under his feet, and then swallows him whole. The shakes stop. Suddenly there is a flash, and the ghost of THE INSPECTOR appears. He hands LUCIFER a notice that says "SHUT DOWN"
INSPECTOR
Nice try.
THE INSPECTOR ascends to Heaven.
LUCIFER
Motherfu--
Cut to black.
